[Review] "Dragula" S2E5: Cabin In The Woods

When the Boulet Brothers got their series "Dragula" on OutTV, some accused them of selling out, simply because they went to a television network for distribution, rather than the first season’s approach through the Hey Qween! YouTube channel. In response, this episode features a hilarious cold open, featuring a HSN-style segment where the Boulets are hocking several products from their sponsors for the season, from cosmetics from Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics to T-shirts from dragqueenmerch.com, who also supplied the $10,000 cash prize for the season’s champion.

When the girls gather up before the challenge delivery, the talk of the group is Dahli and her apparent throwing in the towel during the three-course meal extermination last week. Abhora wonders if this was Dahli’s way of tapping out and letting Abhora get ahead of her, and as such, Abhora is resolved to fight to stay in the game. She has this second wind, and damn if she’s going to let it get away from her.

This week’s challenge is killer, as each queen will star in their own short slasher flick, complete with wigs provided by Arda, which the girls will style however they wish. Which girl will prove their worth as a scream queen? And which will be killed off at the midway point (of the competition, that is)? Coco Peru and Peaches Christ, drag royalty if ever there were, are the guest judges for the week, meaning the bar to make top five has been set high.

In the dressing room, James Majesty shows a rare moment of sisterhood and helps Disasterina style her wig, her first time working with a lacefront of any kind. After narrowly escaping extermination last week, Abhora is out for blood, though her attitude thus far in the game is called out in front of everyone. The only queen that stands up for Abhora is Biqtch Puddin, in what seems to be a show of good faith following their burying the hatchet prior. Abhora does confess that the competition has gotten to her, and that it has affected the way she acts towards people, especially her cohorts.

For the runway portion of the challenge, Disasterina radiates cool wine mom energy as only she can. James’ look reeks of “Instagram influencer with a Pinterest board called ‘Wanderlust.’” Abhora screams basic bitch, in a different way than James does, but I’m still here for it. Victoria is high class with her minks and jewels, but the lack of gimmicks stands out the most, and in the best way possible. Erika looks like that anime girl, because why fix what isn’t broken. Biqtch has full sex on a stick with the headlights out, the blonde wig styled perfectly, and it’s just screaming 80s slasher movie skank (in a good way!).

James has the first crack at the slasher movie challenge in “Vibekiller.” Like any basic “free spirit” girl, she’s trying to get to Coachella, and the first car she flags down breezes past her, prompting a “Namaste, motherfucker!” from James. The second car she sees floors it and runs her over, and this probably should have been where the “Namaste” came in. Either way, it was campy and funny.

Erika Klash goes next in “The Virgin Homicides,” which portrays the anime queen as a lost girl in the woods, trying to make to Hollywood. She comes across a stranger who offers to help her get to where she’s going, and when she declines, he attacks, ripping at her neck with his teeth in a brutal kill scene. Not a bad scene, but given Erika’s themes, couldn’t they have at least given her a nosebleed when she saw the hunk that would be her demise?

Biqtch Puddin’ comes third with “The Last Tent on the Left,” in which she’s trying to pitch a tent for the night. When a wayward stud comes over to help out, he gets fresh with Biqtch, padded ass and all. He ends up strangling Biqtch to death, complete with a bubblegum pop gag that added over-the-top humor to this fun little romp.

Disasterina takes a turn as an aging model in “Rehab Massacre.” On the phone with a friend, trashing the time she spent in rehab thus far, with kitty Chanel in her lap, a disembodied hand armed with a knife attacks her, with the response of “He’s murdering my pussy!” being one of the most quotable and belly laugh-inducing lines of the season. It’s a kookiness as only Disasterina can deliver it.

Abhora’s “Selfie” has her clueless on how to function in a cabin in the woods without cell phone reception, with no Instagram to save her. A handsome stranger barges in and asks to use her corded telephone. When Abhora declines and calls him ugly, he snaps and strangles her with the phone cord, but not before one last selfie, because if it’s not on Instagram, did it really happen?

Victoria Elizabeth Black closes the challenge with “Ranger Danger.” The spoiled bitch her character is has trouble operating the fireplace, prompting a call to the park ranger. The shirtless ranger brings wood and an axe, bringing forth a slew of double entendres before Victoria is killed with the chopping weapon. I realize it is a character, but Victoria sure does know how to play an entitled white woman, an old Karen type, if you will.

Deliberation comes, and there are mostly nice things to say at first. James’ stunt work is praised, as it looked like she let the car hit her, rather than hit the car as it came to her. Biqtch was committed to the character, an homage to the 80s slasher bimbo. Disasterina’s character work was great, but once again, her lack of editing and reeling it in is brought up in that all too familiar song which the Boulets have sung for weeks now. Victoria brought personality to her character, and leaving the gimmicks at home for a change helped the character come to life. Taking the good with the bad, Abhora brought out a more feminine side to her act, though the act as a whole wasn’t anything to write home about. And Erika, even with weeks of the same critique of “come to the dark side,” seems to be sticking to her guns, look-wise.

Judgment is upon our scream queens, and James is praised for looking comfortable in her scene. Erika’s performance was a great time, but her looks are suffering from S.O.S. syndrome. Biqtch got physical in her act with her killer, and was fully committed to the act. Victoria finally seems to have broken out of her shell, but now she needs to catch up to the rest of the crew, who have more or less been out of their shells. Disasterina’s performance was widely praised by the judges, as it felt like Disasterina, which is already a character in itself, playing the character of the rehabbing old model. Abhora, however, is deemed middle of the road, which is not a thing you want to be labeled as this late in the game.

James, Disasterina, and Biqtch are deemed the top three for the week, with Biqtch snagging the challenge win for nailing the challenge, much to her elation. Erika, Victoria, and Abhora are the bottom three for the week, and for this challenge, each girl is asked a series of questions by the judges. Here is a summary of the interrogation, straight from my show notes:

  • Abhora

  • Have you forgiven Biqtch?

  • Yes

  • Are you attracted to Biqtch?

  • Not on any level

  • Should Erika still be in the competition?

  • Yes

  • Have you had relations with anyone on the cast?

  • Yes, with Erika (and Erika corroborates)

  • Erika

  • Have you ever topped?

  • Yes, but she didn’t like it

  • Do you think you can win this competition?

  • I focus on what’s in front of me and doing my best

  • Should you or Abhora go home?

  • Abhora, as she’s struggled with her attitude and confidence

  • Victoria

  • Have you lied to us (Boulets) during the competition?

  • No

  • Do you think Peaches is pretty?

  • Yes

  • Have you had relations with any of the cast?

  • Not sexual, but physical interactions with Dahli

  • Do you think you’re better than the rest of the cast?

  • In ways, yes

Just when the girls think the extermination challenge is done, the Boulets drop a massive bombshell on them: they’ll now have to answer those same questions and more while hooked up to a polygraph machine. Without spoiling too much, Abhora and Erika both are caught in multiple lies, but not before Erika lays into Abhora for the way she has acted throughout the competition. This tirade proves to be Erika’s last, as she is exterminated by way of voodoo doll, all while riding the elevator.

We have reached the halfway point in the season. Five queens remain, and the bar has never been higher. The slightest oversight can cost one of these queens everything. Who will rise to the challenge? And who won’t make it through the night? On the next episode, the fabulous five remaining queens get to be blushing brides in a gothic wedding extravaganza!


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