'Two Minutes to Late Night' Team with GWAR for a Gloriously Gory Elton John Holiday Cover

Clearly, the guys over at the metal late night talk show Two Minutes to Late Night were saving the best cover for last (or second to last, if they’re releasing another on Monday, as per usual). This time, Gwarsenio Hall has tagged in his house band Mutoid Man’s Ben Koller and Stephen Brodsky, as well as three members of those scumdogs of the universe GWAR: singer Blöthar and guitarists Balzac the Jaws of Death and Pustulus Maximus.

In true Christmas spirit, this ragtag bunch of holiday horrors cover Sir Elton John’s 1973 classic “Step Into Christmas,” only given who’s involved, this slaying song is now “Stab Into Christmas,” with Gwarsenio Hall joining Blöthar to riff on the Rocket Man’s underrated tune. Also featured in the video are comedian Kyle Kinane and the band PUP, who have released an EP called This Place Sucks Ass that allegedly does not, in fact, suck ass.

If you’re expecting expert musicality or a soulful iteration of Elton John, you’re not paying attention, and you never were. This one is an equal-opportunity offender and sleazer, with suggestions of “arson on Hanukkah” and “drink bleach on Kwanzaa,” as well as the chuckle-inducing phrase “dick charcuterie.”

Any explanation or analysis I try to provide at this point is belaboring the issue, just watch the damn cover for yourself:

Happy holidays from all of us here at CryptTeaze, no matter what you’re celebrating. Thank you all so much for supporting what we do here, and hopefully our site has been a refuge from all of the awful shit in the world. Cheers to the horror community that we contribute to, and cheers to you, readers. Now be careful sucking that candy cane down to a point or carving up that holiday ham, will ya?