[Review] 'Call Girl Of Cthulhu' Is A Wonderfully Gory And Raunchy Horror Gem

January 13, 2019

From the makers of the charming '80s throwback project, WNUF Halloween Special, comes the goriest, most hilarious H.P. Lovecraft tribute to ever splatter the screen! Call Girl of Cthulhu, directed and produced by Chris LaMartina and Jimmy George (Witch’s Brew, President’s Day) has been on my radar for quite some time, so when Camp Motion Pictures presented me with the opportunity to check it out, I quickly and willingly surrendered to the slimy grip of the Great Old Ones!

 

Call Girl of Cthulhu follows Carter Wilcox (David Phillip Carollo), a struggling, virginal artist who's desperate to lose said v-card. Carter ends up falling for a call girl Riley (Melissa O’Brien), who frequents the apartment complex he lives in with his roommate Erica (Nicolette le Faye). Unfortunately, Carter's new love obsession becomes the target of a group of cultists led by Sebastian Suydum (David Gamble). Sebastian and his pacifier sucking flunkies have been scouring the town in search of the "chosen one" who will become the vessel for the Cthulhu spawn that will destroy mankind, killing and transforming with ruthless abandon all the call girls who don't meet the requirements. Soon, it's up to Carter to save Riley, for the sake of mankind...and his virginity.

As you'd expect, with a name like Call Girl of Cthulhu, the film obviously doesn't take itself too seriously and that's totally fine, it doesn't need to! The film features just enough cheese to perfectly compliment LaMartina and George’s cleverly written script. The actors all give stellar performances, especially for a micro-budget movie of this type. This is one of many aspects that allow this film to stand out above the crowd, with the well-developed characters balancing out the film's somewhat silly story. Not to say I didn't absolutely love the film's story, it's wacky, side-splittingly hilarious and full of homages to Lovecraftian lore. There's even some genuinely sweet moments thrown in for good measure, making this the perfect date night flick!

 

The special effects involved are superb, rivaling many practical effects gags you'd usually see in films with much bigger budgets. We are treated to multiple head explosions, an acidic urine golden shower, a cock mutation and a ton of other impressive gooey, gory moments. The creature effects also look fantastic and best of all, there’s no cringeworthy CGI to be found! However, Call Girl of Cthulhu isn't as over-the-top campy as it may sound, the film manages to maintain its juvenile brand of humor without becoming obnoxiously childish. The film rarely has a dull moment, if at all.

 

The score is as equally fantastic as the rest of the film, filled to the brim with catchy synth lines that would make John Carpenter proud and catchy punk rock tunes that fittingly complement Call Girl of Cthulu's punk-ish aesthetics. I must also point out the film's neon, giallo-esque lighting, a much appreciated added touch to an already satisfying experience.

In terms of bonus content included on the Blu-ray release, there's enough to fill the entire city of R’lyeh, and then some! There's two insightful audio commentary tracks, one with director Chris LaMartina and producer Jimmy George, and the other with LaMartina and select cast and crew. “Lights! Camera! Tentacles! The Making of Call Girl of Cthulhu” featurette is an in-depth and very entertaining look at what went into creating the film. Also included are outtakes, a multitude of Kickstarter videos and so much more!

 

LaMartina and George have created a delightfully bloody and sleazy horror-comedy in the same vein as Troma's finest works, a film that greatly exceeded my expectations in every way! It's obvious those behind the camera had fun making this film, whether the people in front of television screens will do the same watching it depends of a disposition for lowbrow humor, and loads of T&A (tentacles and ass). In my humble opinion, this is splat-stick filmmaking at its finest!

 

If you'd like to welcome the Call Girl of Cthulhu into your home (which I highly recommend), you can order the film now from alternativecinema.com.

 

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